


you abuse the ones who love you

by itbunnygirl



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, M/M, dont let the title fool you asra isnt abusivr, i just couldnt get coming down by dumdum girls out of my head, slight dubcon, the julian asra dynamic always makes me feel weird when i replay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 18:07:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20157838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbunnygirl/pseuds/itbunnygirl
Summary: The way your eyes light up and for a moment, he’s the only thing in your world. Someone as bright as you, and you can only see him. He likes those moments.





	you abuse the ones who love you

**Author's Note:**

> hey sorry if this is thrown together i couldnt sleep and i couldnt stop thinking about it but this is the first thing ive wanted to write for any fandom in like 3 years so i churned it out. i was drunk and listening to coming down by dum dum girls and well here you have it thank you for your time

Asra sometimes wonders what happened to make him this way. He wonders if he was always this way. It’s easy to feel like he doesn’t match up when next to someone who radiates kindness and love the way you do. Sometimes he does it on purpose. Leaving without a goodbye, disappearing without a trace or a note for weeks on end. Just to show up unannounced when he feels you’re just lonely enough. To see you walk in on him making tea in the kitchen like he never left. The way your eyes light up and for a moment, he’s the only thing in your world. Someone as bright as you, and you can only see him. He likes those moments.

Sometimes he feels sick when he thinks about what he does behind your back. How would you feel? How would you look at him?

A fist curled in red hair, forcing Julian’s mouth closer to where it belongs. Would you understand that he was just punishing him for what he did to you? He presses the palm of his free hand to his forehead, pushing sweaty bangs out of his eyes. Sick to his stomach and so so angry. With Julian or himself or you for leaving him in the first place he isn’t sure. But he shoves his cock further into Julian’s mouth and doesn’t stop even when he hits the back of his throat and hears him gag. And when he glances down at Julian and sees the tears forming in his eyes, Asra laughs. He actually laughs and feels something besides anger for a second. 

“You’re disgusting you know. Are you proud of what you’ve become? What do you expect to get out of this?” And to be honest Asra doesn’t even realize that he spoke aloud until Julian replies, “...whatever you’re willing to give..”

He’s disgusting. But he’ll do. 

You smile less now that you’re back. You still light up when you see him but it’s not the same. You’re dim. He wonders if the poison inside him has seeped into you. He destroys everything he touches so it wouldn’t be a surprise. He surges forward, pressing you tightly into his chest. You jolt, not quite used to his neediness yet. The missing chunks in your memory of the way things used to be. The way you used to hold him. Now he’s the one grasping and clinging, like you’re the one that’ll walk out the door and disappear again instead of him. But you still beam up at him when he pulls back. He clenches a fist at the urge to smother the brightness. To cage you and hide you. Keep the world from stealing you yet again. Swallowing bile and smiling sweetly at you as you recount some stupid little story that happened with Julian the other day. He wonders faintly if you’d be having as much fun with him if you knew that he’s the reason your memory is gone. The reason you died. The reason Asra had to do everything that he did in the first place. But he keeps his mouth shut and his fist clenched. Your whimpers of pain from the last time he made you remember something you shouldn’t have, are branded on his soul. So he listens and he smiles and he prays to whatever god will listen for absolution. That you can forgive him for all that he had to do. That you can go back to what you were before. But you give him a quick hug and hurry out the door, late for something with Julian. He watches you leave and knows that one day he’ll burn.


End file.
